What's Going On?

I don't know what's wrong with me

People said that I'm different

I feel myself different

I don't know why do I feel like this

I feel that I'm quitting of everything

Disappointing people who likes me

The family who cares about me

The woman that I love most

"Sorry" is all I can say this time

I know that's enough but ..

Is what comes from regrets

Sorry for everything

For my own mistakes

Maybe I learned with them or not

But I'm quitting of all this

Around me

I'm quitting of myself

I believe that because of all my mistakes

I started to hate myself

Can't look at me through the mirror

Every single night my heart hurts me deeply

My eyes drop tears of pain for what I became

I know ..

I'm not being fair to me

All such great things I've made during my life

But is it enough? .. I can't feel it

I need help but I don't want to ask for

I don't want to bother nobody

I need to love and be loved

I believe that's the only thing can bring me back

But at this moment 

I just got hurted enough

The one I love

Not because I did something wrong

I didn't ..

But because I need to become 

The one she loved before

But I can't find the right way ..

I feel so lonely like ever

I've been so negative to myself

Just thinking about helping others

What about me?

Why can't I help myself?

I lost the hope that I had on me

I feel blind from the darkness

What's going on?

What's wrong with me?

What will happen to me? ..

(Escrito a 26 maio 2015)

© Jorge Fernández